During an attack of insomnia, I trolled some bloggers and ended up reading a one-year-old blog that my BFF since first grade had written. I laughed until my side hurt as she described dinner faux pas’ like not tipping properly. It was funny until she talked about people who asked the waitress for water with lemon, and then proceeded to add sugar from the table to it to make lemonade. I summoned up a conversation she and I’d had before, when she was horrified that a couple she’d gone out with both made their own lemonade at Chi Chi’s restaurant. I didn’t admit it then, but as a member of the free lemonade club, I asked Hubby if he knew this was improper. He said yes, and that he died a little every time I did it in a restaurant. I asked him why he never told me, and he said he figured I wouldn’t stop doing it so he didn’t bother. I proceeded to call BFF since eighth grade to ask her if she knew that making my own lemonade was in poor taste. She said that she did know, and that on our trip to New York a few months prior, she had told me on more that one occasion that she was embarrassed to be seen with me making lemonade at the table. I guess Hubby was right. I don’t listen. In defense of my free lemonade, though, I have to say that it never occurred to me that it was wrong or embarrassing. I have always ordered water with lemon at meals because although I am not generally thought to be a cheap person, buying soft drinks in a restaurant is a racquet. I hate to pay $2+ for a glass of something that I can find on sale for $ .99 (and a 2 liter at that). I recognize that refills are usually free, but I don’t drink more than a glass, so that is no consolation. Since water with lemon is proper, I did not know that a few sugar packets could make or break the day. Apparently, the sugar matters. Since knowing that I have shamed the names of some very good people, I have never made my own lemonade again. I still don’t purchase nonalcoholic beverages with my meals, but I stick to water with lemon. To my BFsF and Hubby I say this: It could be worse! BFF since first grade knows a couple who steals restaurant plates with interesting patterns until they have a collection of four or six. I know a lady who asks for (free) hot water, then uses sugar from the table and a tea bag from her purse to make hot tea. I also know a different lady who never tips more than $2, even if her bill is $70. I know yet another lady who orders each item, asks the wait staff for a price even though it’s on the menu, and then exclaims each time, “Ooh, that’s too high,” then repeats this several times before making a selection for $8.99. All things considered, I think my free lemonade wasn’t so bad. Nonetheless, I pride myself on good manners. Like another blogger I came across, I, too, am considered a black snob. The name used to offend. Now I wear it proudly. In order to keep my nose above the rest, I gave up free lemonade, albeit unwillingly. My advice to you folks who know members of the free lemonade club, is that you tell them in plain English and make them look you in the eye and respond. They might not stop, but you will have done your civic duty. Stopping a dinner injustice anywhere, is a step in the right direction everywhere. Did Martin Luther King Jr. say that? Maybe not, but I believe he would agree.
31 May 2008 @1535
Great article! Since I was a waitress myself in my younger days, I’m a real stickler for fair tipping. I used to have lunch with two ladies at work who would tip the waitress every day with a quarter. It tore my nerves up – especially since we went to the same restaurant every day (Officer’s Club on the post) and they were both high paid civilian workers. They too made their own lemonaid–torn sugar packs would be all over the table with trace sugar spilling from them, and they had the nerve to ask for water with lemon refills. Sometimes, they would split sandwiches and always split desert. Now your small lasp in taste is nothing compared to those two. But if you pride yourself in being a “black snob” – that little dinner time habit will have to be eliminated.
Super perspective! And funny too. – I’ve thought about these things before, but never discussed before. Thanks for sharing. Peace, Light and Love, Cordieb.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You are by far the least of the offenders I know. As that blog post demonstrated I am often in restaurant hell when I dine with people outside the inner circle of friends. That said i appreciate you letting go of the free lemonade… to my way of think if in 30 years the only faux pas I have every had to chide you about is free lemonade and Kena, and all you have to fuss about is too big pants/sweatsuits and boyfriends issues then we are doing damn good! This is why we have to stay friends. No one else would ever over look all the other stuff we do, and hide from the world behind our excellent dinner etiquette and snooty hotel choices.
CordieB, 25 cents? I would just die! That might be the rudest thing I’ve ever heard about supposedly professional people. Green, girl, you know we are uppity about hotels. I can’t travel with 90% of the people we know. I would rather lop off one of my perfectly pedicured toes than stay at some damned Days Inn!