Make new friends, Keep the old

When I got married eight years ago, I made the permanent 90-minute move from Youngstown to Cleveland. Boy, just about everyone I knew acted like I was moving to Tokyo. Before the beauty of free long distance calling, my phone bills were outrageous because I spoke to my two best friends almost every day, to my mother every day, and to my sister and other relatives very frequently. Although I traveled to Youngstown a lot, almost no one returned the favor. After all, I was the one who moved all the way to Cleveland. Now, gas prices or cars in disrepair are usually the reasons/excuses I don’t get many visits. I try not to be “bitter” about adults with so much financial distress. Personally, I couldn’t live having to count my pennies that way, but I am blessed with financial security. The good news is that I don’t rush home every time someone asks me. I used to feel obligated. Now, I feel like I should go when I want, and I don’t ever feel guilty about refusing. I still have very close ties to my family and friends in Y-Town. In fact, almost every Clevelander has heard me say that I only have two friends. I met one when I was skipped a grade and put into her first grade classroom. The other was an eighth-grader who began coming to my high schol when I was in ninth grade, for majorette tryouts. You don’t even want to know the dirt I’ve done with those two. Actually, you do want to know, but I don’t know the statute of limitations on everything, so my lips are sealed. Despite my proclamation that I’ve only ever had two friends, however, I realized this past weekend that some of these gosh-darned Clevelanders have snuck onto my friends list. No, we don’t have the history that I have with my original best friends, but that will come if I quit resisting. The truth is, I am having fun. I’ve made friends with a young, Mexican woman who will country line dance with me whenever I want. I’ve made friends with a mom who randomly drives my son to school and baseball games, just because she’s a homemaker and doesn’t see a reason not to. I’ve made friends with women in a book club who I’ve seen once a month for the past 18 months. Some of those same book club friends are also in my dance group, wine tasting group, and couples group, so I actually see them several times a month. Like it or not, I have friends. I actually think, unbeknownst to myself, I have (somewhat) gotten over my antisocial behaviors and allowed some people in. It’s not painful. It’s been fun. I will always have the friends that I grew up with. My family isn’t going anywhere, either. I have made room in my life for other people who are also worthy of my time and, man, I am having a blast.   

 20 May 2008 @1301